(A quick recap on the past week – my birthday weekend was everything I didn’t know I wanted but exactly what I needed 🙏🏼❤️🔥This week past was super busy too… I had my annual oncology check-up and I’m still cancer-free – I’m not surprised because I don’t see myself ever having cancer again – I know why God gave it to me and I learnt everything I needed to learn in that season. We also spent some time with my mom as it was her birthday and today we drove to Chatsworth to pick up our previous live-in maid, who is now just a member of the family, with her older son and newborn to sleepover for the weekend. It was so surreal driving to Chatsworth – a place we called home once upon a time!)
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If I had to describe this season, it was like standing knee-deep in the ocean — just as I found my footing, another wave rolled in. Not always enough to knock me over, but enough to keep me present, grounded, and wholly dependent on God’s grace.
I wasn’t thriving. I wasn’t resting. I was simply in motion — taking each day as it came, trusting that somehow, step by step, God was guiding us through the swirl.
💔 The Heart–Body Connection
The last three weeks of May were rough. We were all sick.
For me, it felt less like catching something and more like my body finally waving the white flag. The divorce had been finalised, and I knew my body needed to crash, release, and let go of the weight I’d been carrying.
Olivia especially had been feeling it. She needed more of me — not just physically present, but emotionally available. The truth hit hard: I hadn’t been fully present with everything going on.
When she started getting sick a second time, I knew this wasn’t just physical. I believe so deeply in the mind–body connection: when the heart is heavy, the body often follows. A child’s immune system can be strengthened by joy, safety, and connection.
So, one night, we shifted. I carved out intentional, undistracted time with her. Just the two of us. I felt her energy soften, her guard lower.
Sometimes, it’s not about more things, but more moments. Just ten minutes of undivided attention can nourish a child more than anything else. It’s like topping up their little emotional “love tank”, letting them know they are safe, seen, and secure.
Balance Tool:
- For children: 10 minutes a day of undistracted eye contact and connection (no screens, no multitasking).
- For yourself: 10 minutes a day of stillness — a coffee in silence, a quick journal entry, or a walk without your phone.
Life would be easier if maintenance was consistent — but this too was a lesson. I yearned to be supported, to have a chance to be soft… but I’m patient. It’s all in God’s timing.
🎒 A New Rhythm
At the end of May, a small miracle happened: the girls’ arrear school fees on their paternal side were finally paid.
My youngest had been suspended for two months, so when she returned, she started aftercare only. I decided to continue with homeschooling in the mornings, partly because it had always been my plan and partly because we had learned — the hard way — that it was more stable and consistent financially.
Our days found a rhythm: mornings were for homeschooling, afternoons for work. But if I’m honest? June was mostly me playing catch-up.
⚖️ Big Steps
Mid-June, we were over the moon: we applied for my girls’ passports! After requesting permission from their dad since early 2024, we finally got the go-ahead.
It felt like we were surfing a big wave of happiness — another step toward our travel dreams.
Then came July 9: I picked up those passports, finally collected my divorce decree, and had our first official maintenance trial after starting the process at the end of 2023.
🥰 A Me-Day with Jamie Fraser (and God)
After the maintenance trial, my body crashed again.
The girls had gone to their dad for the first time in a while, and as soon as the quiet arrived, so did the exhaustion. At 7:30pm, I was yawning non-stop in the middle of a conversation with a dear friend in America — we hadn’t spoken since she immigrated, and I had been meaning to call for weeks.
When she messaged, I almost didn’t reply. Not because I didn’t want to chat… but because I had no capacity. I told her as much.
That night, my only plan was to vegetate. I’d made the (very important) decision to restart Outlander, because clearly what my nervous system needed was a healthy dose of Jamie Fraser — a man’s man. Wholesome. Loyal. Present. Passionate. Devoted.
And it hit me: that’s what I’m yearning for. That’s the energy I’m healing toward.
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The next morning, I woke up with a ridiculously stiff neck (classic: falling asleep two episodes back while thinking I was still awake — don’t act like it hasn’t happened to you too 😂). So I lay there with a beanbag under my neck, caught up on the missed episodes, painted a little on my divorce painting (which will finish whenever it finishes), and most importantly… I journaled. I let so much out.
I had promised myself I’d start promoting the blog in May. But I hadn’t. Maybe I had put too much pressure on myself when all I really needed to do was process.
Imposter syndrome had a voice in that delay. So did life. So did fatigue. Solo parenting. Survival mode.
But I couldn’t ignore the knowing: God put this calling in my heart. Telling my story isn’t a hobby — it’s the foundation of my purpose. My healing wasn’t just for me; it was so I could be a witness, a guidepost for others walking through their own wilderness.
That day, I chose me.
And maybe Jamie Fraser, too.
Because rest isn’t lazy. Rest is prophetic. It’s the pause that allows clarity. It’s the space where God whispers direction.
Balance Tool:
- Schedule a “slow day” once a month — no chores, no work, just rest and creativity. You’ll be amazed how it refills your mental and emotional tank.
🧩 Coming Back to Wholeness
After that weekend, I was reminded that life isn’t meant to be lived in constant output. You can’t pour from an empty soul.
We started returning to our connection rituals: silly YouTube videos, belly laughs, board games, puzzles. More moments that didn’t need screens or structure — just presence.
That’s the atmosphere I want for our home: laughter, love, lightness. A space that heals and holds. Because at the end of the day, God’s true gift is contentment — the quiet joy of being immersed in love, not distraction.
🌅 Mornings with Meaning
I started waking at 5:05am again — my sacred time. I read, stretch (kind of), and sip green tea with lemon before the girls wake.
My favourite part? Reading on the toilet after my morning pee (yes tmi, there’s a whole blog post on this coming 😂). It gives my body the space to relax and, well… get things moving. It’s become my anchor — reminding me I’m allowed to be nourished too.
We also began doing Bible stories together in the mornings again. The stretching habit hasn’t quite stuck yet, and I miss our summer walks (my body is making some interesting cracking noises in protest), but we’re getting there.
🌿 Closing Reflection
I yearn to be supported. I yearn to have a chance to be soft. But maybe that softness is something I cultivate now, even in the hardness. Maybe it’s not about waiting for someone to give it, but about creating space for it inside myself.
So for now, I’ll keep doing what I can — with what I have — where I am. And I’ll let grace carry the rest.
#TrustingThroughTheTides #FaithInTheStorm #GodsTiming #HealingJourney #SoloParentingLife #MotherhoodAndFaith #ResilientMotherhood #LifeAfterDivorce #HealingAndFaith #GraceInTheChaos #FaithOverFear #HealingWithGod #MotherhoodMoments #FaithAndResilience #LifeUpdate #KreativeKim #DearDiary
And it hit me: that’s what I’m yearning for. That’s the energy I’m healing toward
Softness can be cultivated even in the hardness
✨ What about you?
Have you been in a season where the waves kept coming, yet you still found moments of peace and grace? I’d love to hear how you’ve learned to anchor yourself when life feels unsteady. Share your reflections in the comments — your story might be the reminder someone else needs today.❤️🔥
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