This post wasn’t planned—it’s a spur-of-the-moment, heart-on-my-sleeve, dear diary kind of entry. But I have to share the past 48 hours with you because they’ve been nothing short of a whirlwind.
The world should be better than this.
If more people started their healing journeys, would we even be here?
Sunday And Monday: The Calm Before The Storm
Sunday was a productive, wholesome day. I spent hours glued to my laptop, prepping for my maintenance trial, making sure everything was in order. (Maintenance trial is a process and proving your maintenance claim is a very important step in that process. Have a look at the process here) By the time my girls got back home from their dad, a sense of accomplishment had washed over me.
The next day, I kept Olivia home because she developed a cough and asked to stay home – I could indulge her, so I did. I baked my first banana loaf—a simple joy that filled the house with warmth. Later that evening, my daughters and I took a leisurely walk. My youngest, ever the actress, feigned a sore leg just to use my hiking stick. Her antics brought laughter and reminded me of the innocence and creativity children possess. We ended the day with an Asian-inspired dinner and some SpongeBob episodes—a perfectly wholesome day.
Insight:
Amidst our busy lives, it’s essential to cherish these simple, joyful moments. They ground us and offer perspective.
Tuesday: Trials and Reflections
The sit-down with the maintenance clerk came and went.
Lol, okay—it wasn’t a quick exercise…
”We were last on the list and waited for 2.5 hours before being seen. But waiting is part of the deal at court. I’ve mastered patience from years of sitting in cardiac and oncology hospital waiting rooms.
As I sat outside the clerk’s office, I observed the people around me—frustrated, exhausted, resigned. I listened to their stories… and I thought, Why are we even here?
We shouldn’t be here. This should be a given. The world should be better than this. But it’s not. And I can’t help but think:
- If more people started their healing journeys, would we even be here?
- If more people confronted their traumas, took accountability, and made peace with their wounds, would relationships be as painful, as complicated, as destructive as they sometimes are?
The hallway emptied, and all of a sudden—it was our turn.
Lol and all of a sudden… we were done.
Just like that—it was over.
No deep dives, no resolutions, just another step toward an official trial date. It was disheartening. After all the energy I poured into preparation, I had hoped we’d be closer to wrapping things up. (Please don’t make assumptions on the details of the proceedings – I’m sharing my experience in the hopes of helping others to share their voices. This is a reality of the world we live in.)
I left feeling defeated.
And that’s okay.
Tuesday Evening: A Shift in Perspective
To shake off the heavy energy, I took my girls to explore a dog park we found on the way home from dropping my mom off. My girls love animals, and I love walking in fresh air. Win-win.
But even as I watched them play, a nagging unease lingered—I hadn’t spoken to my lawyer in three weeks since the last trial postponement, and the next divorce trial was the next day.
I spent the day messaging him, trying different ways to get in touch. I wasn’t stressed, though—I had been praying about it and knew I had to let things flow.
Something deep inside me had already whispered the answer:
You’re going to have to continue the trial on your own.
At 6 PM, he finally responded.
“Give me a few minutes, I’ll call you back.”
And then—radio silence. Again.
I started feeling that same frustration and defeat creep back in. Maybe I should just drop everything and start fresh.
I distracted myself with dinner, snuggles with Olivia (who has been deep in her emotions lately), and tried to shake the disappointment. She asked me to sing her to sleep, and I told myself I’d get back up afterward.
But I didn’t.
I passed out next to her.
Insight:
Even when external circumstances are chaotic, our inner strength and faith can guide us through uncertainty.
I literally jumped up again!
It wasn’t about my divorce being finalized today. That was never going to happen—not yet.
Tuesday, After 2am: The Awakening:
I jumped awake in the middle of an intense dream I can’t remember.
Groped for my phone—it was dead.
Scrambled for the charger.
Turned it on… slowly (I need a new phone, lol).
2:27 AM (or somewhere there).
A WhatsApp notification popped up—sent at 1 AM from my lawyer:
In summary:
“Dealing with a family emergency, notified the defendant’s lawyers to postpone the trial.”
Panic.
This was not okay.
My mind went into overdrive—analyzing scenarios, strategizing responses.
Then, suddenly, I stopped.
I breathed. Stayed still in a meditative space.
I listened.
And then I knew.
I had to pave the way for God to do His work.
The silence, the delays, the last-minute message—it all happened as it should.
And then it hit me—the date.
March 12.
Nine years ago, on this exact day, I said, “I do.”
Full circle.
I literally jumped up again!
It wasn’t about my divorce being finalized today. That was never going to happen—not yet.
It was about me being done with it.
3am: Reclaiming My Powers
I sat at my PC, heart pounding, and typed out my testimony for court.
At 3:19 AM, I messaged my lawyer:
In summary:
“Retract the postponement. I do not agree. Withdraw as my advocate, please—I will represent myself.”
God had me.
I had my inner child.
I had me.
By 6 AM, I was done. I woke my little monkey (moaning and groaning, of course), got her ready and out of the house before 7. I wrapped up my testimony, and printed what I needed.
I put on a black dress I had only worn once before—to a funeral.
Snapped on a funky belt, heels, and jumped into my car.
Blasted praise and worship at full volume.
Made my way to court.
The Verdict: Forward Motion
Court went well.
I felt the shift.
We got a pre-trial date and an official trial date for the divorce.
(Have a look inside the divorce process here…)
Then, I kept the momentum going—secured a court date for the maintenance trial too.
Forward motion.
Insight:
Embracing change and trusting oneself can lead to empowerment and forward momentum.
And Now?
Now, I get to step fully into my new life. I get to focus on the present, on the opportunities right in front of me.
I am done with the old.
This is me—stepping out of the healing circle.
Onto the next chapter.
Thank You!
To everyone who has sent love, support, and good vibes over the past few days—I see you. I feel you. I appreciate each of you. 🌻
This journey is just getting started.
Onward.
#HealingAfterDivorce #FullCircleMoment #TrustYourIntuition #DivineTiming #MovingOn #CourtroomChronicles #Empowerment #SingleMomStrong #FaithOverFear #NewChapter #DearDiary #KreativeKim
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What you experiencing… No parent should ever have to go through… u are a strong, bold woman who has overcome many obstacles. You are nearing the end of a long, difficult road, and a whole new life is waiting for you and your girls… Keep the faith. Sometimes, we have to get knocked down so hard before we realise it’s all part of God’s plan….
I believe your story… what you are experiencing right now… your journey will be an influence for moms going through the same things you’ve experienced but just haven’t found their voice yet.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Take care always… no matter what… life will get better. Smile… because you deserve it. You deserve joy and an abundant life. You and your girls deserve the best life has to offer.
You and your girls will be smiling for years to come… because… You, Kim, are a woman of strength and power… Keep standing tall for your family… take care always… #believeinchange
Thank you so much for your words and for holding space for this journey. I wholeheartedly believe that every challenge we face—especially the hard, gut-wrenching ones—isn’t just something we ‘go through’ but something we’re meant to grow through.
For me, this has never been about fighting against anyone, but rather about fighting for something greater—for healing, for understanding, for breaking cycles that no longer serve us. I see every moment, even the difficult ones, as part of a greater unfolding. Like you said: sometimes, we need to be knocked down – I believe its so that we can rise stronger, wiser, and more aligned with the life we’re truly meant to live.
If my journey can serve as a light for another mother (or even a father) who feels lost, who feels like they don’t have a voice, then that in itself is a blessing. Not because I have all the answers, but because I’ve learned that the answers are within each of us—we just have to be willing to listen, to trust, and to take the steps forward, even when they feel uncertain.
I deeply appreciate your encouragement, and I invite us all to focus on the lessons, the transformation, and the faith that carries us through. This isn’t about the pain of the past—it’s about the power of what comes next. And that’s where I choose to place my energy. 🙏🌻
Thank you for the candid sharing. I have a question:
Why is your divorce taking so long…why so many trial dates?
Open cards on the table:
I’m at the beginning of this journey, and it’s not going to be pretty… At least I really doubt it…
So cheers to us both for STRENGTH as we fight for what is right and our kids’ futures.
Thank you for reaching out. It means the world to me to know that my story resonates with others who may be walking a similar path. I truly appreciate the openness and connection—it’s not an easy road, and I see you as you begin yours. 💛
To answer your question—divorce, especially when there are legal and financial complexities, can be a long process. Every case is different, but in my situation, there have been delays, postponements, and legal back-and-forths that have stretched things out longer than I ever imagined. The system can be seen as slow but when there are aspects that need resolution, it naturally leads to multiple court dates. It can be frustrating, but I’ve learned that patience and perseverance are key.
That said, I’ve also come to realize that while the legal process may take time, the emotional healing doesn’t have to wait for a judge’s ruling. There is treasure in the waiting. It’s not about our timing – it’s in God’s timing. If I find myself stuck – I look around and see the positive spin that I can take from it. I choose to focus on the lessons, the growth, and creating a future that aligns with what’s best for my girls and me.
You are at the start of your journey, and I know it can feel overwhelming. But know this—you will find your strength along the way. Every step forward, no matter how hard, is a step toward something better. So yes—cheers to strength, resilience, and standing for what is right. You’ve got this. 🌻✨
WOW!!!!!! You are definitely a SURVIVOR, girl. I am so proud of you and your words and messages are amazing and will help a lot of people, for sure!!!!
Thank you Melissa! Your words truly mean so much to me. 💛 This journey has been filled with lessons, and if sharing my experiences can help even one person feel less alone, more empowered, or more hopeful, then it’s all worth it. We all have our own battles, and we are all survivors in our own way—rising, learning, and growing through it all. Sending love and gratitude your way! 🌻✨
You write so beautifully and naturally, Kim! I loved your update… Just read it.
Very bittersweet moments, but your strength and resilience always inspires me 🩷
Thank you so much for reading and for your beautiful words. Bittersweet really is the perfect description—it’s been a mix of grief, grace, and growth. But I’ve learned that those are often the moments where the deepest strength is forged. I’m so grateful that my story can inspire, because I truly believe that when we share honestly, we give others permission to process their own journeys too. Sending love as always 🌻🩷
I see your posts come up and I really admire all your strength through what I imagine must be an extremely difficult time for you, I am going through something similar and I wish I was half as strong as you have been. I know it’s easy to see things from the outside and imagine they are easy, I’m sure you have put a lot of work into getting to the place you are at.I don’t know why I’m messaging but I’m just reaching out to let you know that you and your girls are in my prayers and I hope you know how courageous you are.
Hi there, thank you so much for reaching out… that in itself takes bravery too. I’m proud of you.
I appreciate you for seeing me on my journey, you are right… when people look in they see lots of smiles and laughter in my posts… this is a true reflection of where I’m at generally… but there are definitely tears and hardships too and I speak about them openly. These things are all part of life and we need to accept them for what they are and try working through them… The journey can be hard, but its SO worth it!
I’m grateful that you messaged. I’m grateful that I get to tell you how strong you can be… you have it all inside of you. All you need to do is hold on tight and dig deep.
Baby steps, don’t rush through it…if you don’t already journal, start there…
I appreciate your prayers and I would like you to know that I’m sending them right back to you, along with so many blessings and hugs for the path you are on. You’ve got this!