I stood in court yesterday, hoping for closure. But due to procedural rights, the process was delayed again. I didn’t know that once someone requests legal representation, the court is obligated to grant it—so I pleaded emotionally, hoping to be heard. After I was advised about the due process, in hindsight, I understand the judge’s position and duty to the law, but in that moment, I was simply thinking about my girls—their schooling, their emotional well-being, and our future.

Sometimes what feels urgent in your heart doesn’t align with what’s possible in a courtroom.
And maybe that’s exactly the point.

After court, I walked outside and sat on the bench—and I cried. Not from defeat, but because I needed to let it out. Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is to just release. And then I composed myself, stood up, and walked straight to the divorce court clerks.

I don’t have legal representation. I rely on the information and support available through the courts—and that’s what I did. But they told me there wasn’t much else to do right now. I just need to wait.

Later that night, I dropped to my knees in prayer.

“God, what do I do now? What’s next?”

And this morning, three different people made contact with me. Each one had seen me speak out. Two of them shared their stories with me. Their words, their insight—it gave me clarity. It gave me a next step. God answered.

And now I’m rising again, wrapped in the armour of God, getting ready for the next trial.

But while I wait for the next trial to arrive, life has to shift. As I felt it would last week.

We’re homeschooling again.

What Homeschooling Means to Me

Homeschooling is being able to tell your daughter she can go back to sleep when she wakes up and says she’s still tired.

It’s honouring her circadian rhythm. It’s honouring her body.
And when she wakes up—fully rested—she’s excited to learn.

She jumps onto the computer, eager to start her day.

Homeschooling means we get to choose what we learn, and how we learn it—while still meeting the necessary academic standards. It’s learning through connection, conversation, and curiosity.

It’s raising wholesome, well-rounded human beings who have the emotional tools and inner compass to help make this world a better place.

It means I can advocate for my girls. Teach them boundaries. Let them speak their truth. And ensure their voices are not just heard—but respected and valued.

It means bonding over walks. Talking through the tough stuff. Laughing until our stomachs hurt. Creating an environment where they feel safe—in their bodies, in their lives, in their home.

Homeschooling means we can choose our community. We can select extra-murals that reflect our lifestyle and values. We can live intentionally, not reactively.

This isn’t something I stumbled into—it’s something I’ve dreamt of. It’s why I became an entrepreneur more than 14 years ago. I envisioned a flexible lifestyle, one where I could raise my children with freedom, intention, and presence.

Today, I’m living that dream.

And now I’m building the bridge to the next chapter—something that’s always been on the cards:
Travelling. Exploring. Learning everywhere we go—while still earning an income.

A Shift in Priorities Needs to Happen for Now

For now, I’ve chosen to pause KK CSI.

I was genuinely excited when an investor approached me. But after reflecting deeply, I realised the timing just isn’t aligned yet. I shouldn’t have pushed forward trying to create a crowdfunding campaign when I didn’t have the capacity to manage it properly.

Over the past few days, especially after standing in court again, I’ve started to wonder if there’s a quiet truth beneath the surface of the comment I received about the victim mentality.

Not because I’m weak. Not because I’m stuck.
But because sometimes, when you’ve carried too much for too long, your heart starts reaching.
For relief. For justice. For someone to finally say, “I see you.”

Maybe in trying to push KK CSI forward—despite the exhaustion, despite not having the time—I was chasing hope from a place of emotional urgency. Maybe yesterday in court, when I found myself ready to forfeit everything just to end the fight… maybe that was my heart trying to find peace the only way it knew how in that moment.

It doesn’t make me a victim.
It just makes me human.

But I also see it now.
I see how easily survival mode can disguise itself as purpose.
And I know the difference.

That’s why I’m pausing KK CSI for now—not because I’m giving up, but because I’m choosing to honour the timing, the capacity, and the healing that’s still unfolding in me.

 I’m choosing peace over pressure.

I’m concentrating on my website design now.

For years, it’s been a side-line—born from word-of-mouth referrals and a passion for helping people build their dreams. It’s been a creative outlet, always simmering in the background.

But now it becomes my focus. My anchor.

Support is a Gift—Not a Guarantee

Here’s what I’ve come to understand deeply:

Support is a luxury—not a certainty.

We can’t build our lives assuming it will always be there. Not because people are unkind—but because everyone has their own storms to weather. Sometimes, support falls through. Circumstances shift. Help disappears.

We need to become our own safety net.

But that doesn’t mean we need to harden or isolate. When support does show up—receive it with gratitude. Let yourself be held. Embrace the softness. Welcome it as a gift, not a dependency.

We weren’t meant to fight endlessly or just survive.
We’re meant to rest.
We’re meant to live in balance.
We’re meant to model emotional wellness and nervous system regulation to our children—because they will one day copy how we lived, more than what we said.

So here I am.
Homeschooling. Hustling. Listening for divine timing.

✨ To not pushing.
🌱 To planting seeds when we’d rather run.
💫 To showing up for what’s in front of us with grace, grit, and a quiet trust that it’s all unfolding exactly as it’s meant to.

I don’t know exactly what’s coming next.

But I do know this:

We’re already living a life I once only dreamed of. ❤️‍🔥

#KreativeKim #DearDiary #HomeschoolingInSouthAfrica #WorkFromHomeMama #DivineTiming #EmotionalWellness #ConsciousParenting #SingleMamaLife #LetGoAndLetGod