It’s been a tough 2 weeks, I have been working straight through… stopping at 11pm or touching midnight and waking at 5am — sometimes super restless nights with my girls or just my mind refusing to switch off.
A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!
I just needed to get through to the 5th and ensure that all my bills were covered.
And I did!!
God is SO SO good and He answered all my prayers and I received all the website work I prayed for.
So by the time I got to divorce trial on the 6th — I was beyond exhausted.
Surrendered
I gave it to God. Completely surrendered.
There were too many “this must be the last trial” and “today I’m gonna be divorced” expectations before — and therefore disappointments.
Best case, I assumed that we should be able to testify and do trial and that part would be over, and in a few weeks we’d get another date for judgment.
I drove to the court singing praise and worship at the top of my lungs — lol, laughing with a few people on the commute who looked over at me dancing in my car.
I knew that regardless of the outcome — it was going to be an amazing day!
I was just grateful.
The Dress, the Calm, and the Closure
I parked and walked to court with my head held high.
Wearing the same black dress that I wore to the other trials that all got pointlessly postponed.
I decided it was my divorce dress.
I was persistent. I was confident.
Lol and from the way I stopped some traffic, I was definitely looking as good as I felt. 😉
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
We went in and the entire experience was uncanny… absolutely unnerving.I was as calm as could be though.
I couldn’t believe that after 2.5 years… after filing that paperwork…
After knowing that I wasn’t happy in my marriage and that I deserved more;
After experiencing everything I experienced since…
I never expected any of it.
They told me it would get ugly.
Even after I pleaded for amicable.
I never imagined it would be as bad as it was.
On the Stand
I swore in on the stand and the judge asked me if I thought that there was any chance of reconciliation —
I might have been conflicted had the divorce not been contested.
Had we stood in front of the judge shortly after I filed.
I wouldn’t have been exposed to the ugly directed at me then.
I might have found myself lost in the cycle again because I hadn’t healed enough and learnt the lessons I still needed to learn.
Instead, our relationship flashed through my head from when the judge verified the date we got married, showed me our original marriage certificate to validate, and had me state that we are currently still husband and wife and then started confirming my reasons for wanting the divorce.
Things I had written down what feels like a lifetime ago.
Our relationship wasn’t all bad, we built a life together.
But it just wasn’t on solid ground.
We weren’t equally yoked.
We kept repeating the same dysfunctional patterns, right from the start.
My father being an alcoholic was brought up as the reason for some of my triggers.
I was shocked. Low blow. No accountability as usual.
“There is no chance of reconciliation, Your Worship.”
We weren’t equally yoked.
I thanked Jesus. I thanked all my angels and prayer warriors.
I thanked myself.
The Verdict
The judge called an adjournment and said he would give judgment shortly.
It sounded like a gavel but it was the court stamp.
It gave me goosebumps regardless.
I thanked Jesus. I thanked all my angels and prayer warriors.
I thanked myself for sticking through with it even when there were a few times I was ready to just give in.
It is done. We are divorced!!!!
You are free to be you. And I am free to be me.
Oh I am so joyously free!!!!
The Verdict
The judge called an adjournment and said he would give judgment shortly.
It sounded like a gavel but it was the court stamp.
It gave me goosebumps regardless.
I thanked Jesus. I thanked all my angels and prayer warriors.
I thanked myself for sticking through with it even when there were a few times I was ready to just give in.
It is done. We are divorced!!!!
You are free to be you. And I am free to be me.
Oh I am so joyously free!!!!
Freedom Feels Like This
I went to one of my close friends for tea, she has been a great support through it all.
She gave me another golden nugget of perspective to take home with me:
“It is my birthright to be free and joyful.”
I let my girls know that we were going to go out for some ice creams and a (liberatingly free) walk on the beach.
As we walked, I saw how the sun was disappearing…
I remembered what our best man said at our wedding reception —
About time being the most precious commodity.
And I asked my oldest to start recording.
I told her I was going to chase the sun.
The girls started giggling and shouted for me to stop because people were watching.
Lol, I didn’t care!
It’s not every day you get divorced and officially start a new chapter!
She continued to record.
It was absolutely spontaneous and absolutely liberating.
The best feeling ever and I’m so grateful that I had my girls to experience that with.
They have been on this journey too.
The official divorce doesn’t change anything for them though…
As far as they are concerned, we were divorced from the time we moved out.
We chilled by my aunt after — another big part of my phenomenal support system.
Had dinner there and crashed when we got home. ❤️🔥
Still Processing
I took the day off to process yesterday but some urgent things came up with clients.
I didn’t feel hungry… until all of a sudden I was craving something very specific… my first brunch as a newly single woman!
I got creative in the kitchen and it was ABSOLUTELY delicious.
It was rich,
colourful,
vibrant,
bold,
warm,
deeply satisfying,
flavourful,
nourishing,
grounding, joy-filled, decadent, textured, indulgent, and unapologetic…
Everything I know my new chapter is going to be!
I lay in bed last night while my girls slept and I started writing this post.
I listened to my break-up folder of songs for the last time (They are super powerful and from different stages over the years of healing for me – I would highly suggest you listen to them if its something you are going through – the list is below). I also watched our wedding video after the thought about it the day before at the beach.
The fact that I could laugh at the moments that made me laugh before is awesome.
That’s how I know I’m okay.
So many relationships in that video broke apart over the years…
So many people have died…
Life moves… we need to move. But we also need to be still.
Still Processing
I took the day off to process yesterday but some urgent things came up with clients.
I didn’t feel hungry… until all of a sudden I was craving something very specific… my first brunch as a newly single woman!
I got creative in the kitchen and it was ABSOLUTELY delicious.
It was rich, colourful, vibrant, bold, warm,
deeply satisfying, flavourful, nourishing, grounding,
joy-filled, decadent, textured, indulgent, and unapologetic…
Everything I know my new chapter is going to be!
I lay in bed last night while my girls slept and I started writing this post.
I listened to my break-up folder of songs for the last time (They are super powerful and from different stages over the years of healing for me – I would highly suggest you listen to them if its something you are going through – the list is below). I also watched our wedding video after the thought about it the day before at the beach.
The fact that I could laugh at the moments that made me laugh before is awesome.
That’s how I know I’m okay.
So many relationships in that video broke apart over the years…
So many people have died…
Life moves… we need to move. But we also need to be still.
Liberation Canvas
I’m still processing…
Over the next few days, I plan to paint some more on my liberation canvas —
I started it at our first divorce trial in May 2023 and will finish it before our divorce decree is received at the end of the month.
Twenty years.
Half of my life spent in this lesson.
Lol, I got a couple of dents in my fender and a few rips in my jeans
(lyrics from one of the songs in my headphones that were just perfect as I typed this).
But now I am free.
On the Horizon
In exactly 3 months it’s my birthday…
Life begins at 40, they say!
And I cannot wait!!!
I’m SO SO ready!!!
The best is yet to come!
❤️🔥🤩💃🏽🤸🏻♀😍🥳
💔 Breakup & Empowerment Playlist: 🌱
-
- Take a Bow – Rihanna
- Someone Like You – Adele
- Whatcha Say – Jason Derulo
- She Used to Be Mine – Sara Bareilles
- Broken & Beautiful – Kelly Clarkson
- The Breakup Song – Francesca Battistelli
- Brand New Me – Alicia Keys
- Truth Hurts – Lizzo
- So What – P!NK
- Sorry Not Sorry – Demi Lovato
- Narcissus – Alanis Morissette
- You Don’t Own Me – Saygrace
- Shout Out to My Ex – Little Mix
- Best Thing I Never Had – Beyoncé
- Set Fire to the Rain – Adele
- Happier Than Ever – Kelly Clarkson
- Warrior – Demi Lovato
- Free to Be Me – Francesca Battistelli
- Look at Her Now – Selena Gomez
- Defying Gravity – Cynthia Erivo
- Remix Riding Solo (Jason Derulo) – Leo.TheLion
- Don’t Worry Bout Me – Zara Larsson
- Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson
- Survivor – Destiny’s Child
- Irreplaceable – Beyoncé
- Try – P!NK
- Part of Me – Katy Perry
- Praying – Kesha
#KreativeKim #DearDiary #DivorcedAndFree #SpiritualDivorce #HealingJourney #FaithOverFear #SingleMamaStrong #StartingOver #ChasingTheSun #DivineTiming #DivorceVictory #ConsciousCoParenting
i am free! im so so ready!
Life begins at 40!
✨ What did your healing look like when you finally walked away from something that no longer served you?
Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your reflections. ❤️🔥
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I am so happy for you and know that this new chapter will hold nothing but joy, love of a different kind, laughter, freedom, adventures, discoveries and happiness for you all. I let go of my “relationship” with my biological father. Finally, nothing that he says or does or DOESN’T say or do affects me. Idon’t care. The past is gone and the cord is cut. He no longer has any hold or effect on me and it feels great, awesome, LIBERATING and wonderful.though he really HASN’T played any kind of part in my life, I was still holding on. But, not anymore. I have outgrown him and the space he put me in.🥳👏🏻😘🎉
Wow — this gave me chills. Thank you so much for your beautiful words and for sharing your own powerful breakthrough. That moment when we truly cut the cord — not just physically, but emotionally and energetically — is everything.
You’ve described it so perfectly: liberating, awesome, and freeing. It’s wild how we can carry the weight of someone’s absence just as heavily as their presence… until we finally realise we’ve outgrown the role they assigned us.
Here’s to both of us walking into this new season — unburdened, unapologetic, and fully aligned with who we are now. 🥂💃🏼✨
So much love to you! 💖